But the crabs are here.

Tyrion looked pointedly at his right hand. "Why, I have steel in my hand, Ser Alliser, although it appears to be a crab fork. Shall we duel?" He hopped up on his chair and began poking at Thorne's chest with the tiny fork. Roars of laughter filled the tower room. Bits of crab flew from the Lord Commander's mouth as he began to gasp and choke. Even his raven joined in, cawing loudly from above the window. "Duel! Duel! Duel!" Ser Alliser Thorne walked from the room so stiffly it looked as though he had a dagger up his butt. Mormont was still gasping for breath. Tyrion pounded him on the back. "To the victor goes the spoils," he called out. "I claim Thorne's share of the crabs."

 Crab legs are one of the easiest things to cook.  Seriously. 

Ingredients: 
3 bottles lager beer (I used Narraganset...because...well...it sounded nautical)
3 lemons, cut in half (plus extra for serving)
1 large head garlic, cut in half
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp paprika
1 tsp sea salt
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
Note: this is a minimum recommendation to reflect the sparseness of the Wall.  Add more to taste.
(or you can just use old bay for all of the above if you don't mind using pre-made seasonings)
 3lbs Alaska King Crab Legs, split
1 stick butter, melted

Directions: 

Add beer, lemons, garlic, and seasoning to a very large stock pot then bring to a boil. Add crab legs then place a lid on top and cook for 4 minutes (it’s ok if lid doesn’t shut all the way.) Remove meat from shells then serve with butter.

You can also make a delightful dry rub "dip" by mixing the aforementioned seasonings to taste.  Delicious.

Over 10,000 page views? Now I feel really bad about not updating.

Greetings, gentle readers.  Apparently there are quite a few of you.  My deepest apologies for the hiatus.  Babies were born (highborn, not baseborn, of course)  jobs were changed etc. etc.

I hope to get back into regular cooking and blogging mode and as a token of good faith, I give you "Night's Watch Stew."  I'm skipping the first stew reference, as I am plum out of squirrel.  (OK, that's a lie, there are like 10 of them in my yard as I type...but I don't feel like eating them.)

(Edit:  wow..it really HAS been a while...I did a king's road stew, sans squirrel)

Inside, the hall was immense and drafty, even with a fire roaring in its great hearth. Crows nested in the timbers of its lofty ceiling. Jon heard their cries overhead as he accepted a bowl of stew and a heel of black bread from the day's cooks. Grenn and Toad and some of the others were seated at the bench nearest the warmth, laughing and cursing each other in rough voices. Jon eyed them thoughtfully for a moment. Then he chose a spot at the far end of the hall, well away from the other diners.

Tyrion Lannister sat across from him, sniffing at the stew suspiciously. "Barley, onion, carrot," he muttered. "Someone should tell the cooks that turnip isn't a meat."

Ingredients

5 cups beef stock or broth
12 oz Dark Beer or Stout.  (I used Harpoon Chocolate Stout...because why not?)

 1 shallot chopped
2 carrots chopped

2 cups turnips cubed (or more if you want to be "book accurate"  but I don't like turnips that much)

6 medium stalks of celery sliced

1 cup onion chopped
3 large Portobello mushroom caps cubed
4 cloves garlic minced
1/4 cup barley
1 Lb. preferred lean stew beef (calculated w/ chuck) (or mutton, again if you want accuracy)
2 tbsp flour

(And these are optional...it's all stuff that would keep well, so theoretically the Night's Watch would be able to keep them...but how much seasoning they would use is open for debate)

 
1 tbsp cumin
1 tbsp coriander
1 tsp allspice
1 tbsp oregano (dried)
1 tbsp black pepper

Directions

Place a large stew pot over high heat.  Add beef broth/stock and beer to pot.

In large skillet, soften onions, celery and shallot over medium heat. Add to pot of broth.

Turn skillet heat up to medium-high, and add garlic, salt and mushroom. Cook until mushrooms are browned. Add to pot.

In medium sized mixing bowl, combine flour, cumin, coriander, and allspice. Cut beef into chunks, and dredge in flour mixture. Coat heated skillet with oil, and brown meat and flour mixture. Add to pot. 

Add barley, oregano, and pepper to pot. Cover and let simmer for 1 hour.  Uncover and bring to a boil.  Cook for another 50 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Add carrots and turnips.  Reduce to low heat and simmer, covered, for another 30 minutes.

Uncover and bring to a boil and cook for another 10 minutes or until turnips are tender.

Stew on the King's Road

Yoren sat on a stone, skinning a squirrel. The savory smell of stew filled Tyrion's nostrils. He dragged himself over to where his man Morrec was tending the stewpot. Wordlessly, Morrec handed him the ladle. Tyrion tasted and handed it back. "More pepper," he said.

Deeply sorry for the prolonged absence.  We've had lots of changes here at the kitchen. New babies, new jobs, new states.

However, it is fall now, and fall means stew.

I envisioned this to be a simple easy stew that the men of the Night's Watch could scrabble together from things found in their travels, and perhaps a few provisions tithed by Winterfell.  I'm not much for eating squirrel, so I used beef.  However, a closer parallel would be rabbit.  Still, the stew was tasty!

Ingredients:

3tbs lard, grease or other cooking oil.

1 onion peeled and chopped

3 cloves of garlic chopped

1 sprig fresh rosemary, chopped

1 sprig fresh thyme, chopped

2lbs stew meat cubed

salt to taste

1/2 tsp black pepper (or more if you are cooking for Tyrion)

2tbs flour

1 cup sweet red wine (I used Marsala)

1lb butternut squash cut into cubes (or potato, or sweet potato, or whatever else the Night's Watch may have found growing on their trail)

1/4 cup sun dried tomatoes

2 cups chopped mushroom (or more...I used more.  I like mushroom)

3-4 cups beef broth

crusty bread for serving

In a large soup pot or dutch oven heat lard/grease/oil over medium heat.  Add onions, garlic, rosemary, thyme.  Cook until tender.

Add mushrooms and brown slightly.

Toss beef in salt, pepper and flour.  Turn heat up to medium high and add beef.  Cook until beef is browned at the edges (about 5 minutes.  Do not overcook.  

Add the wine and scrape all the browned bits off the bottom of the pot with a wooden spoon.  Add squash and tomatoes and stir.

Add enough beef broth to cover beef and squash.  Bring stew to a boil over high heat, then reduce to low heat and simmer, covered, for 1 hour.

Season with salt and pepper (lots of pepper for Tyrion).

Eat.

Dothraki Wedding: The thrilling conclusion!

I have been horribly neglectful, but I hope this recipe  is worth it!  It's another variant on the Dothraki blood pie.  This one is more of a pie...though it feels somewhat too "western" for a Dothraki dish.

You will need:

2 lbs cubed "horse" (I used lamb)
flour
salt to taste
pepper to taste

1 tbs cardamon

1 tbs cumin

6 cloves of garlic crushed
olive oil
2lbs fresh mushrooms, sliced
1 large sweet onion
1/2 cup blood (I harvested mine from all the lamb I've used so far)
hot water

2 pie crusts.

First, to make the pie crusts you will need:

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, plus extra for rolling

1 cup (2 sticks or 8 ounces) unsalted butter, very-cold, cut into 1/2 inch cubes

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon sugar

1 teaspoon pepper

6 to 8 Tbsp ice water

Mix all the dry ingredients. Then cut in the butter with a pastry cutter.  Add water slowly until the dough forms into a coarse, moldable dough.  If it's too crumbly add more water.

Once your dough is "right" form it into 2 balls. Take each ball and flatten, fold, and reflatten with your hands to make "layers" for a flaky crust.  Do this about 6 times, then take the flattened disk and put in a cool place. (you should have 2 disks)

Now for the meat!

Coat the steak in flour, spices, salt and pepper.  Sear the meat in about 1/2 cup of olive oil.  You only want to brown it, not cook it. Remove from pan and place on a plate.

Leave the oil and drippings in the pan, and sauté the onions and mushrooms.  Wisk 3tbl of flour in 12 oz of hot water, until all lumps are dissolved.  Pour slowly into the pan with the onions and mushrooms, stirring constantly.  Add the blood.  Let the mixture come to a  boil.  Continue stirring.  Once the sauce thickens, reduce the heat to a simmer and add the meat. Simmer over very low heat for about 30 minutes.  

While it simmers, roll out your two pie crusts.  Line a pie tin with one.

Pour meat into the pie pan, cover with the top pie crust and seal well.  Cut holes in top crust to vent.  Back at 350degrees 30-40 minutes until the pie crust is fully cooked.

My camera is giving me un-rotatable photos again.  Fail!

Mmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!

Dothraki Wedding Part 4

This  will be first in a 2 part series on "blood pies".  The first recipe borrows heavily from the Mongolian HuuShuur, a handy, portable meat pie good for a nomadic people.

 For dough:

• 21/4 cups wheat flour
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 cup warm water
• 1tsp black pepper

you can use white or all purpose but the dough will be elastic and  more difficult to manage.

For filling and frying;

• 4 garlic cloves
• 1 pound ground lamb.  Do not use a lean cut, the fat will keep the filling moist and help ensure thorough cooking.
• 1 cup minced onion
• 2 scallions, minced
• 1 tbs ginger
• salt and pepper to taste
• 1 tbs Corriander
• 1tbs cumin
• 1/4 cup water
• 6 to 8 cups cooking oil

Make dough:
Stir together flour pepper and salt, then stir in warm water until a dough forms. Transfer to a floured surface and knead briefly. Form into 16 (1 1/2-inch) balls. Let stand, covered with an inverted large bowl, at room temperature 1 to 2 hours. If your dough is "wrong" use more flour or water as needed.

Make filling while dough stands:
Mince and mash garlic to a paste with 1 1/2 teaspoons salt and the spices, then stir together with lamb, onion, scallions, and water in a bowl. 

Form and fry pies:

Roll out 1 ball of dough into a 3- to 4-inch round on a floured surface with a floured rolling pin. Put about 2 tablespoons filling to one side on round, flattening filling slightly, and fold other half over it to form a half-moon. Press edges together to seal, forcing out air. Starting at one end of curve, fold edge over in triangles (each fold should overlap previous one), pressing as you go and pressing last fold under (this will help seal). Repeat with remaining dough and filling. 

It is EXTREMELY important that you seal these well or the leaking lamb fat will cause explosions of epic proportions.

Meanwhile, heat 1 1/2 to 2 inches oil to 350°F in a deep 4- to 5-quart heavy pot.

Fry pies, 4 at a time, until golden and meat is just cooked through, about 3-6 minutes. Transfer to paper towels to drain. 

         

Dothraki Wedding Part 3

As soon as I read "joints of meat" I immediately recalled "ouzi", a delicious lamb dish made for feasts and special occasions.  For large gatherings, and entire lamb will be roasted, but more commonly it's the leg or shoulder so...joints!

It's not really lamb season so the butcher did not have any bone in legs, or shoulders, so I made do with boneless, but for a proper meat joint presentation, you would want those bones.

• 2 shoulder's of lamb,or one leg (If you want to go REALLY authentic dothraki, use goat)
• 2 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp cloves
• 1 tsp cumin
• 1 tsp cardamom
• salt and pepper to taste
• 4 tbs olive oil
• 1 onion, cut into 8ths
• 6 cloves of garlic sliced

FOR THE RICE:

• 2 1/2 c basmati rice(soak at least 30 mins before cooking)
• 1 onion, chopped
• 3 tbs oil
• 1 lb ground lamb
• salt and pepper to taste
• 2 tbs cinnamon
• 1 tsp nutmeg
• 1 tsp ground cloves
• 4 1/4 c lamb or chicken stock
• 1/2 c almonds, sliced and toasted
• 1/3 c pine nuts toasted
• 1/2 cup pistachios

 Preheat oven to 425.  Rub the spices all over your lamb with the oil. Place in a roasting pan and put into oven.

 


After 20 minutes take your pan from the oven and transfer to a dutch oven. cover the lamb with 1-2 cups of water, add onion and garlic. place back into the oven on 300 F, cooking for 2.5 hours for rare, 3 hours for medium or  3.5 hours for well.  I like rare.

When the lamb has an hour left start your rice.  In a sauce pan fry the onion with 2 tbs of oil. Add the ground lamb and cook. Add the rest of your spices, stir well and add rice.

 
Pour in the boiling stock, mix well and simmer covered for 10-20 mins until rice is tender, add more stock if it becomes dry. Drain and place on plate then add your lamb on top decorating the top with the nuts.Serve the broth from the pan for dipping, and the onions as a side.  NOMNOMNOM!

Dothraki Wedding Part 2

Sweet grass stew, you say? That can mean only one thing! (And this is one of the few vegan friendly recipes this blog will ever have!)

• 4 stalks lemongrass
• 1 tbs olive oil
• 1/2 cup chopped sweet onion
• 1 1/4 tsp salt
• 1 tsp ginger
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp cardamom
• 1/2 tsp pepper
• 2 sweet potatoes peeled and chopped
• 3 carrots chopped
• 2 cups mushrooms (I used baby portabellas because they were handy, and sliced them, but enoki would be awesome!)
• 3 cups vegetable broth
• 1 cup water
• 1 cup snap peas
• 13.5 oz of coconut milk
• 1/4 cup cilantro, chopped

First, "dress" the lemon grass.  Peel the hard outer layers and cut off the dry green tips.  Take the soft white bases and crush with a knife.  Enjoy the delicious aroma of sweet, sweet, lemon grass.  In fact, rub some on your wrists, just for fun!

Heat the olive oil and saute the grass and onion for 3 minutes.  Add the spices and saute  for another 2-3 minutes.  Then add the remaining veggies.

Yes... I picked this sweet potato because it looked just like a Kamakura cookie!

Cook for another 2 minutes, then add the broth and water.  Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 25 minutes.

Remove the lemongrass...or don't. I didn't.  However, when eating the soup, be careful not to eat the lemongrass.  It won't kill you put it's not pleasant to nom.

Add the peas and the coconut milk.  Cook 3 more minutes, then add the cilantro and serve.

Delicious and soooooooooooooo healthy!

Ahoy! Here Thar be Soy!

In researching my Dothraki wedding feast, I came to the conclusion that, statements of GRRM about composite cultures aside, I wanted to make Mongolian-esque food.

This of course required the use of Soy sauce.  But would that be proper? What exactly is this delightfully salty sauce and would a Dothraki Horde have access to it?

Answer: Yes.

The good folks over at the Kikkoman Soy Museum have put together a nice condensed history of soy sauce, but the take home point is that soy sauce (the American and British name derived from the Japanese term "Shoyu" or "Shio") is an ancient method that served the two very important purposes of both preserving perishable foods and enhancing the flavor in an economical and efficient manner given the high cost of pure salt.

For more on Salt, and the history of Salt, including a great discussion of the history of soy sauce and the many wars fought over the salt trades, I highly recommend this book.   All the salt and history you could ever want, and more!

Dothraki Wedding Part 1

She had never seen so many people in one place, nor people so strange and frightening... They gorged themselves on horseflesh roasted with honey and peppers, drank themselves blind on fermented mare’s milk and Illyrio’s fine wines...Food was brought to her, steaming joints of meat and thick black sausages and Dothraki blood pies, and later fruits and sweetgrass stews and delicate pastries from the kitchens of Pentos, but she waved it all away.

My question...WHY???? Because that sounds pretty awesome.  Okay, so maybe I know why...the whole "being sold as a child bride by your creepy power hungry brother" thing probably doesn't do much for one's appetite, but still...

I've given a lot of thought to Dothraki cuisine and have come up with the following rules:

1. GRRM has said many times that the Dothraki are a composite of many cultures, including the Mongolians and various Native American cultures.  However, although there is not a direct one for one analogy, it is impossible to look at Khal Drogo and not see shades of Genghis Khan, so many of my Dothraki meals will have a Mongolian feel to them.  Mmmmmmm...Mongolian....

2. The Dothraki would likely have access to a wide variety of spices, ingredients, and culinary styles, borrowed from places that paid them tribute or...well...didn't pay them tribute and got their stuff taken anyway.  So there will be shades of middle eastern, far eastern, and basically anything that is good, meaty and hearty.

3. As a nomadic culture, the cooking methods must be simple.  There may be the ability to do things a little more complex while close to town, but this will largely be campfire and dutch oven cuisine.  Again...yum!

4.  "horseflesh" will be represented by either elk when I can get it, or very lean beef.  Horse are friends, not food.  And besides, in the US horse consumption is banned.

So, now that that is settled...without further ado...Part one of a multi-part series:

Horseflesh Roasted with honey and peppers!

• one large, lean sirloin steak or elk steak.
• 1/3 cup of soy sauce*
• 2 tablespoons of white wine vinegar
• 1/2 tsp crushed red pepper
• 2 tsp ginger crushed
• 2 tsp garlic
• 1/3 cup honey 
• Colorful Peppers

Cut the steak with the grain into 1/2 inch strips.  Combine the soy sauce, vinegar, pepper, ginger, and garlic.  Marinate in a shallow dish for 20 minutes.  Flip over, and marinate for another 20.

please ignore the fact this meat has been frozen...Dothraki meat would of course be steaming fresh off the horse!

Skewer the beef, weaving it with some cut up peppers.

Add the honey to the reserved marinate liquid and baste liberally.

Grill beef to your liking.  We did 3-4 minutes per side at medium high heat and ended up with "medium".

While the meat is grilling, boil the remaining marinate and honey until it reduces to a syrup for dipping.



I then served it over a bed of couscous with cinnamon, cardamom, and ginger.

*Stay posted for a discussion of soy sauce and how yes, indeed, your ancient recipie may in fact use your favorite salty condiment!

Pondering the Dothraki, but for now...HAKA POWER!

I will be doing a more thorough post on my thoughts on the Dothraki, namely "are they just the Mongols, or something else?" but for now this is too cool not to post:

I KNEW IT WAS A HAKA!

That's right, Jason Momoa, HBO's "noble savage" got the part by performing a haka for the casting directors.

I knew the first time I saw that scene that Momoa had absolutely drawn inspiration for that scene from the haka.  Here's the official New Zealand and Tonga rugby versions:

And, since this is after all a cooking blog, the same..performed by gingerbread men:

Dinner in Pentos

 “‘My fellow magisters have doubled the size of the city guard,’ Illyrio told them over platter’s of honey duck and orange snap peppers one night at the manse that had been Drogo’s. The khal had joined his khalasar, his estate given over to Daenerys and her brother until the wedding.”

Apologies for the delay in posting this, travel took me away from both the kitchen and the keyboard.  However, I hope this is worth the wait.  For Magister Illyrio's dinner, I decided a wealthy merchant would have access to all manner of spices and rich foods and, when dining with the potential future king whose royal butt he's been kissing, the dinner would be rich and succulent.

For the duck you will need:

• One whole duck.  You can truss it if appearances matter, but most ducks cook up fine on their own.  I did not truss mine.
• 1 tsp fresh crushed basil
• 2 tsp ginger
• 1 tsp sea salt
• 1 orange cut into quarters
• 6 bay leaves
• 1 cup honey
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1 tsp fresh lemon juice
• dried crushed tarragon to taste

Preheat oven to 350.  Mix basil, ginger and salt and sprinkle on inside and outside of duck. (NOTE THIS SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING...but if your duck came stuffed with its neck and liver, remove these!) Stuff duck with quartered orange and 4 of the bay leaves.  Sprinkle tarragon on top of the duck.  Lay in a roasting pan breast up, and fill pan with 2 cups of water.

In sauce pan, combine butter, honey, lemon juice and 2 bay leaves and simmer until it reduces to a syrupy consistency.  Pour half over the duck and save the rest for basting.

Cover and back for 30 min.  Remove, flip breast side down, baste and continue to roast covered at 300 for 2-2.5 hours.

Turn breast side up and uncovered for last 15 minutes, covering the breast with the remaining syrup.

As always, steal the skin while no one is looking and eat it yourself!


For the orange snap peppers, I simply sauteed some orange peppers and sugar snap peas in a blood orange infused olive oil with sea salt, orange slices, ginger and curry powder. until the peas were soft but still had a nice crunch.  These images are odd because apparently "rotate image" is just a suggestion.  So, enjoy sideways peppers!

In a later post, I will show you what to do with any delicious leftover duck, but for now...I think I like Pentos!

Free City States

GRRM has said many times that while there are some clear sources of inspiration (Hadrian's Wall, for example) much of his world is inspired by different sources and direct one to one comparisons are rare.  Still, there seems to be an obvious analogy between the Free Cities and the City States of Italy and, to help me narrow down my cooking styles and ingredients, this seems as good a parallel as any.  Life in the Free Cities seems a little more historically advanced than in Westeros, comparable to the earlier start of the Renaissance period in Italy, and its eventual spread to other parts of Europe.

One can't help read about the "Doom of Volantis" without thinking of Mount Vesuvius and the fate of Pompeii, (to be discussed in greater detail later), and High Valyrian, a language forced on the children of the highborn and spoken with bastardized accent elsewhere in the world seems reminiscent of Latin.  Imagine Arya trying desperately to flee her Septa while being drilled in the fact that Gaul was indeed divided into three parts!

The nine Free Cities are Lys, Myr, Pentos, Braavos, Lorath, Norvos, Qohor, Volantis and Tyrosh. They are independent city-states that lie across the narrow sea on the western side of Essos, mostly on islands or along the coast. Mountains to the east separate the coast from the plains of the Dothraki Sea, though gaps in the mountain range provide the Dothraki people some access to the Free Cities. The Free Cities were colonies built by the ancient Valyrian Freehold, and later declared independence after the Doom of Valyria.  Similarly, the first Italian city-states appeared in northern Italy as a result of a struggle to gain independence from the  Holy Roman Empire. The Lombard League was an alliance formed around 1167, which at its apex included most of the cities of northern Italy.  Around 1100, Genoa and Venice emerged as independent Maritime republics. For Genoa the Holy Roman Emperor was overlord and the Bishop of Genoa was president of the city; however, actual power was wielded by a number of consuls annually elected by popular assembly. Pisa and Amalfi also emerged as maritime republics: trade, shipbuilding and banking helped support their powerful navies in the Mediterranean in those medieval centuries.

Between the 12th and 13th centuries, Italy was vastly different from feudal Europe north of the Alps. The Peninsula was a melange of political and cultural elements rather than a unified state. The very mountainous nature of Italy's landscape was a barrier to effective inter-city communication. The Po plain however, was an exception: it was the only large contiguous area, and most city states that fell to invasion were located there. Those that survived the longest were in the more rugged regions, such as Florence or Venice, which was protected by its lagoon. The rugged terrain of the Alps prevented the German Princes from attacking Northern Italy, safeguarding the country from German political control. Largely for these reasons, no strong monarchies emerged as they did in the rest of Europe; instead there emerged the independent city-state.
While those Roman, urban, republican sensibilities persisted, there were many movements and changes afoot. Italy first felt the changes in Europe from the 11th to the 13th centuries. Most notably, the city states developed as centers for urban life, commerce, and the re-emergence of the religious cathedral.

In recent writing on the city states, American scholar Rodney Stark emphasizes that they married responsive government, Christianity and the birth of capitalism. He argues that these states were mostly republics unlike the great European monarchies of France and Spain with absolute power vested in rulers who could and did stifle commerce. Keeping both direct Church control and imperial power at arms length the independent city republics prospered through commerce based on early capitalist principles ultimately creating the conditions for the artistic and intellectual changes produced by the Renaissance.

So what about Pentos?

Pentos is one of the Free Cities. It is a port located on the western coast of Essos. Pentos is a large port city, more populous than Astapor on Slaver's Bay, and may be one of the most populous of the Free Cities. It lies on a bay off the narrow sea, with the Flatlands plains and Velvet Hills to the east.  The city has many square brick towers, controlled by the spice traders. Most of the roofing is done in tiles. There is a large red temple in Pentos, and the 'Sunrise Gate' allows the traveler to exit the city to the east, in the direction of the Rhoyne. Pentos is a city where wealth equals power, ruled over by a prince with a council of magisters. The prince has a mostly ceremonial function while the rich magisters rule.  The prince is chosen from the forty families, and presides chiefly over balls and feasts. Three heralds travel with him: the golden scales of trade, the iron sword of war and the silver scourge of justice. On the first day of every new year, the Prince must deflower the maid of the fields and the maid of the seas. When the Pentoshi believe the gods are angry at them, such as after loss in a war or a crop failure, they sacrifice the prince by cutting his throat to appease the gods and then choose a new prince from amongst the forty families. The city survives largely by paying tribute to the Dothraki, and trying not to anger Braavos.

Which sounds like GRRM may have stolen the idea from these guys: (shiny nickel to anyone who remembers that reference!)

So, taking all of that into account, in my mind, Pentos = Pisa.  For starters, they both begin with a P.  Why not?  Second, like Pentos, Pisa is a commerce center on the northwestern coast or Italy.  Throughout much of its history, Pisa was sacked by various enemies including Vikings, Byzantines and Saracens.  No Dothraki mentioned...but enough other invaders to establish it as a vulnerable locale.  Pisa was a great sea power, credited with the invention of the battering ram (for when you really want to tell that other ship you don't like it) and was a leader in maritime trade.  The perfect home for a Magister cheese monger!

Why this is important is tonight I am making Pentoshi Duck! More to follow!

Breakfast for Tyrion

I'm probably not alone in thinking that Tyrion Lannister is the embodiment of awesome.  One of my favorite lines of dialogue from season one, and one of the earliest food references in the books comes just after Tyrion gives Joffrey that well-deserved backhand to the face.

Tired from a hard morning of slapping the crowned prince, he enters Winterfell and orders himself up a nice hearty breakfast.

"Bread! And two of those little fishes.  And a mug of dark beer to wash it down.  And bacon, burn it until it turns black."

I see nothing in this plan I don't like.  Largely because It gives me an excuse to a. drink beer with breakfast and b.  bacon.

For the bread, pumpernickel seemed most fitting.  Dark, hearty, delicious.  I will eventually post some more thorough thoughts on breads and starters and, gods willing, may even be venturing into the realm of beer mash leavening, but for now,I cheated and made a nice dark loaf with dry quick rise yeast.  Sacrilege, I know.

I used rye flour and added 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder and 2 tablespoons of molasses for color and it was wonderful.

For the bacon, I used our local butcher and got some delightfully thick slices.  I'm not a huge fan of burnt bacon, as I like the taste of bacon, not char, but I do like the crispiness, so I roll my bacon in a little bit of flour before frying.  It soaks in the juices nicely.

Mmmmm...bacon

 As for the little fishes, this to me screamed "smelt fried in bacon grease".  This sounds gross but is actually quite tasty.  I purchased my smelt already dressed, but if you have the time and inclination, they are fairly simple to gut.  Simply slice below the neck and slice open the belly to gut.  As a general rule, fish under 2 inches long do not need to be gutted at all. And leave the heads on if you are feeling particularly adventurous.  I made a quick batter by dipping my smelt in a whisked egg and rolling them in flour, then fried them in the bacon grease for about 2 minutes each side.  A small dish of salt and black pepper makes for a nice dipping plate.

Finally, for the dark beer, I went with Harvestoun Old Engine Oil black ale.  It's thick but not too heavy, and has a nice, mildly sweet creamy taste.  And finally, a nice wedge of hard cheese.  This one was an aged sheep's milk.  

All in all, a breakfast fit for an imp!

Lunch Along the Kingsroad

It was a day for adventures.  They explored the caves by the riverbank, and tracked a shadowcat to its lair. And when they grew hungry, Joffrey found a holdfast by its smoke and told them to fetch food and wine for their prince and his lady.  They dined on trout fresh from the river and Sansa drank more wine than she had ever drunk before.

And then of course there was that whole "unprovoked sadism followed by getting bested by a nine year old girl" thing...

I don't generally care about the food Joffrey eats, unless it's food he's choking on.  But this sounded rather tasty.

First take a cedar plank and soak it for about 2 hours.  Then take two trout fillets and baste them with olive oil, rock salt, black pepper and some dried tarragon.

Grill over indirect heat on medium high heat for about 20 minutes or until fish is flaky.

Serve with wine...of course.

Now if only that holdfast had paid less attention deboning that trout...